Sunday, 15 January 2012

Rude Cyclists, Communicating With Dogs, and Swearing at People Who Can't Hear Me.

I have to be quick, as I am off out in a bit. Yes, I am a Social Butterfly.

Yes, I know that social butterfly shouldn't have had Capital first letters.

This morning I did my third walk of the weekend. I walked 8.5 miles - but the sport tracking software only recorded 7.48 miles because it was at that point that the battery on my phone died. But I did really walk 8.5 miles today, bringing my weekend total to 21 miles.
The route that I walk is a well used walk, and I pass many other people along the way. As is customary with anyone who has any resemblance of manners, polite acknowledgments are exchanged as you pass. This morning, it was "Good Morning". As I walked along, I exchanged such greetings with dog walkers, joggers, and families out for a walk - the children on their bikes and the parents walking in front or behind. However I discovered that one set of path users had no manners what so ever: Adult Cyclists.

On three occasions I was passed in the opposite direction by a couple of cyclists. I presume they go out in pairs because they know that one of them will end up getting punched in the face because of their mannerless, self importance obsessed attitude. Each time I encountered these cyclists, I said good morning. Each time, I was ignored.
Now I'm sure that cyclists have a lot to think about: Is their helmet on straight; are they wearing sunglasses (irrespective of the weather); do their lycra cycling shorts enhance the size of their genitals whilst at the same time protecting them in the event of riding over a pothole; are the going in the right direction; etc. etc. However, it doesn't take much effort to say "Good Morning" or even just "Morning".

It did annoy me that I got no response from them. I will accept the weak possibility that they might not have heard me. That's okay - next time I'll shout my greetings at them, and hope that they ride into a clump of stinging nettles.

As you know, I love dogs. And therefore have no shame in admitting that when I meet a dog (a dog that is friendly and comes up to me and says hello) I talk to it in the most ridiculous two tone voice, with which I ask it questions and then answer them for it.
For example, this morning on my walk I saw a dog walker approach me. He had a West Highland Terrier with him, and this dog came running up to me and jumped up with its tail wagging. So, the silly voiced questions started:

(In a deep voice) "Hello, you're a lovely dog aren't you? (high voice) yes you are!"
(deep voice) "are you having a nice walk? (high voice) you are, aren't you!"

I can't explain why I do this, but I guess part of it is that dogs respond better to an excited tone of voice than a dull one. The other reason could be that I'm mental.

I like football, and I watch it on TV. But when my team (Arsenal) are playing, I go mental and scream and shout at the telly everytime they miss a pass or waste an opportunity. I know they can't hear me, but still I do it. The air in my lounge was every colour of the rainbow due to the colourful language I was using.
It's not clever to swear, but somehow "Oh do try a bit harder chaps - that really isn't good enough" doesn't really convey the sentiment enough.

Anyway, that's it for today's blog - I'm off out.

Ciao!

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