Monday, 16 January 2012

Crush, Hair, Junkie, Speccy, Advice.

I have absolutely no idea what to write about tonight. Subsequently, this is likely to be one of the best blogs I've written in a long time.....

Well that's me set up for a great fall - let's get on and see how much of a hash I can make of this. Firstly: Sign Language. My Sign Language classes resume next Monday the 23rd, and just like when I was back at school, I've only tonight started doing the revision that I've had three weeks so far to do. I've just done an hour testing myself, and my brain is a bit scrambled. Fortunately, unlike when I was at school, I now no longer have a crush on Michaela Holloran. But man, was she lovely....she had long(ish) flowing dark hair, and was very pretty - and I was kidnapped by her beauty, and then blindfolded by her voice, before being driven to a secret location and tortured by her eyes. That year Chaka Khan had the song "I feel for you", and to this day whenever I hear that song it takes me back to that time.
I obviously had a thing for dark hair, because my first love (and subsequent woman I married, and eventual psycho hose beast from hell), Samantha Warren had dark hair. From memory I also fancied the Argentine female tennis star Gabriella Sabitini - although she did have the look of being one of those 'over hairy' types, who if you saw naked would look like an inverted ZZ Top pyramid (if ZZ top dyed their beards black). I suspect that personal topiary was not a top priority for Ms Sabitini. Of course I wouldn't dare to cast speculation on the neatness of Michaela Holloran, and as for my ex wife - let's not go there (which is so what I should have said!).

So, that's an old school mate insulted - not the best idea in the year of our 25 year reunion......

So, going back to my original point: revision, and homework and all that stuff. Why does every generation do the same thing? Why do we all leave our homework or revision to as late as possible? It's not as if trying to write your history homework on the bus into school on the day its meant to be handed in ever made anyone feel good is it? Unless you were a geek adrenaline junkie.....

Yes, the geek adrenaline junkie - two wimpish to go base jumping, rock climbing without ropes, or sky diving, but they'll risk that A* by finishing that English essay in English class on the day it is due whilst waiting for the teacher to arrive. Oh yes, that's a rollercoaster thrill ride right there!

I don't know if I was a geek at school - some people might say I am one now, but at school I'm not so sure. In my day there weren't such fashionable terms for the spectacle wearer, or the academically gifted but socially inept such as "geek" or "nerd". In my day, we were all clumped together under one reference: "losers", and as such were universally accepted targets for abuse. Every day I used to get called "four eyes" or "speccy twat" - and that was before I had left the house for school. My parents were mean.....

But we all have a past, we all have moments in our lives that we don't look back on with fondness. But those moments go towards making us the people we are today just as much as the moments we remember joyously. And you can't go back and change any of it, so why worry? It's the future that we can shape, so that is where our focus should be.

Oh, and on the present - we shouldn't go wandering through life looking into the distance, because you'll miss what is going on now, or might even fall down a manhole and break a leg.

In the spiritual sense of the word.

So by all means look to the future, but keep one eye on the present. Yes, you'll look like you've got a lazy eye, but at least you won't lose focus.

All this advice is available in my new book - "Do Stuff To Change Stuff! - But Once You've Changed It, Leave It. Or Not - It's Up To You."
You'll find it in the 'Self Help' section. Actually, I shouldn't have told you that - I should have left you to find it yourself.

Well, this blog appears to have got bizarrely out of hand, so I think it is time to finish it. I'm sorry for the random rubbishness of it - unless you liked it, in which case I aim to please....

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