I've done it again - started with an idea for this blog, and then changed my mind a little way in, in preference of........I don't know what.
I have happily discarded the idea of trying to write a blog to put a smile on the faces of some friends who I note don't seem to be having a good time lately, in favour of no set idea at all. I've gone from having a weak idea to no idea.
Well, that's not strictly true. I do have one idea of what to write about - but that is real rubbish. I was going to write about the tiny war that rages each and every day in my life - the minuscule individual skirmishes that dictate most of my actions.
Let me explain:
Every day a war rages between what I want to happen, and what will happen. It starts as soon as I wake up, with the warmth and comfort of my bed battling the increasing pressure in my bladder. Obviously, the bladder wins that one. I wanted to stay in bed, but had to answer the call of nature.
But although that battle was lost, the war rages on.
For lunch I have a Tesco own brand cup-a-soup. I can heartily recommend the tomato flavour - recommend it as being the one flavour that tastes least like it should. Anyway, the cup-a-soup is the only thing I have during the working day, as this month I have budgeted poorly and am running out of food. I could extend my overdraft and buy lots of nice things to eat, but that will only leave me in the same position next month. So this battle is my appetite fighting my will to stay in control of my finances. My appetite loses this one.
I have my first Sign Language assessment on the 11th Feb, and have told myself that I must practice every night. Herein lies another running battle - between my fear of failing my assessment, and my habit to procrastinate. This battle can go either way - some days the fear wins and I sit down and do a couple of hours practice, and some days it doesn't.
Tonight, it hasn't. But that isn't necessarily a bad thing.
I can't always get what I want. If I did, I'd be massively overdrawn, be failing at Sign Language, and be waking up each morning wet and smelling of wee.