I don't understand my body.
Today at work my nose started running, for no apparent reason. When I say running, I don't mean like when a child's nose runs and they get that 'double snail trail' thing going on - but I was having to blow my nose every few minutes.
What I don't get is why. I don't have a cold (I did flirt with a cold a few weeks ago - but like everything else I flirt with, nothing came of it), so why should my nose run like that? The only possible answer is that my Immune system was running a drill.
As you all know, our immune system protects and defends us from infection etc. It is our bodies defence force - like the U.S. Army, but without the weeing on prisoners - and like any good defence force it must be constantly ready for action. One way to keep it at maximum readiness is to run drills from time to time, and that is what happened today. My body simulated an infection, and produced white blood cells which fight the infection and that is what the Mucus is made of.
At least that is what I think happens - I didn't take biology, I took needlework.(I made a pencil case)
So the whole snotty nose thing was a drill. Admittedly, its one of the better 'body drills' to endure. The worst one is the one after a curry, where the bowel holds (or not) its own 'fire drill' and sees how fast it can evacuate. That's not very nice. And its 72 seconds, by the way.
Tonight, I was very lucky to be visited by some very special people. My ex girlfriends children, Harriet and Stan came round to see me, along with Harriet's friend Heidi. They stayed for about an hour before going off to the pub for.....some reason or another.
It was so lovely to see them, for obvious reasons I don't see them very often, and it was really nice to chat to them again. To be honest, I was a little sad because at the time when they were part of my life, my relationship with them was not the best, but I do miss them, and part of me wishes I could have that time again. But I can't.
All too soon they had to go, but have promised to come and see me again. We are going to have a curry night next month, which will be really cool - provided it is not followed by a fire drill.
Seeing them has also made me realise that I need to stop being hung up on the past. What has happened has happened, and I need to move on. I want to move on - I don't want to keep hurting, keep having the regret, keep wishing I could get back what I never will. I have to let go, I need to let go. I'm scared that I will never find someone again - but until I release my past, I'll never let anyone else get close enough.
So enough now, no more. What's done cannot be undone. I leave what was behind, and look towards what will be.