Monday, 5 December 2011

Needy Coasters, Cupcakes of Death, and Things You Don't Expect To Be Asked At A Sign Language Class.

It really is quite sad really - how lonely the average Coaster can be. You would have thought that they would have been content, what with being used regularly - but apparently this is not enough.

Recently I've noticed that whenever I pick up a cup of tea or coffee off the coffee table (why don't we have tea tables?), the coaster always wants to come with the drink, rather than stay on the table. I can only assume that it takes comfort from the warmth of the mug sat upon it, and inevitably makes some kind of emotional bond with it. Sadly this bond is not reciprocated, and the hot drink soon grows cold leaving the coaster emotionally void.
Perhaps it is a self confidence thing; the coaster might not realise its worth, preventing those awful mug rings from ruining the surface of the table. Maybe if it was shown a bit of gratitude once in a while, it wouldn't feel the need to be so clingy.
Let's have a "Cuddle a Coaster" day, and eradicate needy Coasters once and for all.

So I was at work today, and one of my colleagues brought in some Chocolate Cupcakes. They were delicious, but very dry and prone to crumbling apart. I had devised a
Plan to solve this problem - take as big a bite as possible out of the cupcake, and then add a mouthful of coffee to moisten it and make it easier to eat.
So far, this plan had worked. Of the three cupcakes given to me, two had been successfully consumed. However, when I took a large bite out of the third and final cupcake, the piece in my mouth broke apart suddenly and I started to choke on it. A split second later my body's defence mechanisms kicked in, and with an almighty cough I sprayed cupcake all over my desk and blinds. To make matters worse, my mouth had started producing saliva so the crumbs of cupcake that showered my office were damp enough to stick to whatever surface they made contact with and leave a stain.

They never tell you of the hidden dangers these types of cakes possess....

I've been to Sign Language class tonight, and as part of the learning process we often have to pair up and Sign to each other. Well tonight there was an odd number of us, and for a moment I was without a partner. The tutor then said I could join an existing pair and make a triple conversation.
I turned to the nearest pair - who happened to be ladies - and was promptly asked by one of them if I wanted a threesome.
Well, I was lost for words. She was bright red with embarrassment, and the other lady was crying with laughter. That clearly wasn't what she meant to say, but it did make us all laugh.

I can't wait to go back next week!

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