Thursday, 15 December 2011

Just For You, Cain Bennett

Apparently, I now write this blog "on demand". Obviously, because my life is a dull, empty void, I just sit around all day waiting for something to write about.

Well hurrah! today my prayers have been answered. A young man by the name of Cain Bennett has expressed his disappointment at my intention to not write my blog tonight (for Social reasons) and, as I never like to disappoint anyone - except during sex, and I can't really help that - I thought I should appease my young friend, and write the bloody blog to shut him up. But what to write about?......


I first met Cain Bennett in the Spring of 1996 when he was a mere babe in arms. His vacant expression and constant aroma of vomit and poo are as clear today as they were back then - but that's just how he has turned out I guess. Although usually shy around "new" folk (being his dad's Best Friend wasn't enough, apparently), Cain and I surprisingly hit it off. Soon we became good friends, and Cain used to have me read stories to him. He was a demanding little bugger even then.
It was a joy to watch Cain grow - and painful sometimes. I shall never forget the time he dropped a Matchbox car from the landing upstairs on to the top of my head.

Actually that is not true. I have lost all memory of the event and 5 minutes either side, due to the damage caused by the tiny falling Ford Mondeo. I have to rely on the eyewitness accounts of Cain's parents (once they have stopped laughing).

Apart from that incident, me and Cain have become good friends. I don't get to see him very often, but through the magic of Facebook the little sod is never far away - erm, I mean I am able to keep in touch with the delightful child regularly.


I last saw Cain earlier this year up in Scotland with his Dad, his Uncles and his Aunt. In fact I seemed to be the only non-Bennett person on that Holiday - apart from Cain's Aunt Leigh's Husband Jim. But he lives in Scotland, so technically wasn't on holiday.

So what else can I say about Cain? He's clever, funny, and a pleasure to be around. He's also a cheeky little bugger that tries to give his poor mother the run around, and if I ever catch him doing that in my presence, I'll beat the living crap out of him.

So, this blog has been written for Cain, at his request.

I hope he likes it. It's tough if he doesn't.

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