Tuesday, 22 November 2011

Pet Substitution? Try a Hairy Friend!

It is a well known fact that stroking a pet does release endorphins (that might not the correct spelling) and helps relieve stress ( that is the correct spelling). What may be less well known is that viable pets for stroking are really only cats, dogs and rabbits. Extensive studies have found that fish are difficult to stroke in their tank, and flap about too much out of it. After a while they stop moving, but tests found that stroking a dead fish didn't do much for stress levels.

So dogs, cats, and rabbits are the answer. But what if you don't have a pet? For years, this was the question on the lips of scientists studying stress reduction techniques everywhere. Thankfully, an answer presented itself:

Folically over-endowed friends.

All of us know someone in our circle of friends who is too hairy. If you can't think of anyone in your circle of friends, then it's you. In my circle of friends, its me; I'm so hairy that I look like a gorilla mated with a praying mantis and I was the offspring. When I take off my t-shirt, I look like I'm wearing a mohair sweater.

Nonetheless, hairy people are still people, and can offer just as much as the rest of society - if not more.

Human hair is very similar to pet hair, therefore the feel you get from it is virtually identical. Why then, should it not have the same benefits when it comes to stroking it?

There are other benefits than the physical ones; winter is almost upon us, and with the cost of winter fuel going up, think of the money you would save by cuddling up to a six foot hairy person rather than a small cat. The extra body warmth would be literally worth its weight in gold. Hairy folk should be dished out to old people on a weekly basis along with their pension. They can have them for a week, and then get a different one the following week.
Not only would this system benefit the most.vulnerable members of our society, but would help old people too.

So if you are without a pet, or are unable to get one for whatever reason, do the next best thing; get a hairy person into your life, and give their hair a stroke.

You won't regret it...

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