Tuesday, 13 September 2011

Why Water Proof Coats Are A Double Edged Sword........and Secret Military Laser Guided Rain Drops

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart - but the very next day, you gave it away.

So sung George Michael, aka Georgio Nikopokolopodopadopolous (or something like that). But he was wrong, because last Christmas I got a lovely new waterproof coat, which instantly over took my "big coat" as my outer wear of choice for inclement weather. It was lighter, made me less hot, and was waterproof - the exact opposite of "big coat" which was very heavy, not waterproof, and made me so hot that if I was wearing it walking in the rain I would eventually become as soaked through sweat as I was through rain.

So, I had a new coat and I wore it everywhere. Recently I had noticed that my coat was in need of a good clean. I checked the label, and it said "cool, wash" - so I said "sweet" and did so. It was only when the coat was half way through being washed that the concept of me wasting my time entered my head. If my coat is waterproof, won't that limit the cleansing effect the water in the washing machine would have? I had visions of my coat tumbling around in the washing machine saying to itself "well, this is having no affect whatsoever" as the dirt that had found its way onto it just stayed where it was and enjoyed the ride like it on some sort of roller coaster.

Anyway, I washed my coat and hung it out to dry this morning on my way to work. Not on my way to work you understand - I didn't leave it hanging from a lamp post or draped over a bin - I meant before I left for work.

Yes I know that is what I should have put then.

Smart arse.

Moving swiftly on.....I hung my coat out to dry this morning, and would you believe it? it rained today. I nipped home at lunchtime (in the rain, without my coat) and my coat was hanging there looking all dejected. Or was it? I was about to get fed up because my clean coat was getting dirty and wet, when a familiar, yet slightly different thought entered my head. My coat is waterproof, and therefore discards water like a lottery winner discards his friends. It didn't matter that it was raining, I wasn't worried - it was like water off a waterproof coat wearing duck's back!

In due course, it stopped raining and we had good spells of sunshine in the afternoon. When I got home from work tonight, my coat was dry and happy to see me. I will admit that in some instances, the waterproofness of the coat could be a concern but overall, like a seesaw with heavy set prostitutes on one end and skinny prisoners on the other, the pros outweigh the cons.

I have a sever case of "Blog De Ja Vu" when it comes to this next bit, but cannot find any evidence to back it up.


Consider this: The lowest clouds in the sky form at approximately 2000ft up from the ground. So a rain drop falls at least 2000ft before it hits, yes? Furthermore, during that fall the raindrop is subject to the force of wind which will blow it around, alter its course, or even disintegrate it.
Now consider the fact that when we walk, we never walk the same route in exactly the same way twice. Our pace varies, our direction changes in response to our surroundings, we may stop at any moment. It is impossible to predict exactly how someone will walk.
Finally, understand that when I wear my glasses, the gap between the frame at the top of my glasses and my skin is about 3 - 5 mm, but this varies as  my body moves when I walk.

So, we have the minimum distance a raindrop falls, and the movement it undergoes during that fall as a result of wind etc. We also have the constantly varying movement of a person when they walk - no two walk are exactly the same. Finally we have tiny gap between the frame of glasses and the glasses wearer.

So how is it, when you take all these things into consideration that a single raindrop can fall from the sky 2000ft above me, get blown by the wind miles off course perhaps, and yet still end up sailing straight through the gap in between my glasses and my face and hit me smack in the eye!!!???
Those laser guided missiles the military have, are nothing compared the accuracy of those raindrops!!

It's happened more than once....and it bugs me.

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