Friday, 16 September 2011

The Inescapable Tractor Beam of Accountancy Software, and Other Adventures

It's been a busy day today. Again.

I was in work at 6:30 this morning to finish off entering those orders onto SAGE, the software we use to record orders and invoices and manage stock etc. Yet again it took me an hour and a half to enter 22 orders - which either means that at that time of the morning, I am really slow or that I am just really slow. I was relieved to get that done as entering orders onto SAGE can be tedious and annoying due to the little quirks built into the the program.

At 9am we had a meeting to cover what was coming in, what orders were going out, and what needed to be done to facilitate the timely of dispatch of forthcoming orders. During the course of every meeting, each of us are given relevant tasks to complete in line with our responsibilities within the company. A couple of tasks given to me were to contact a couple of customers and book orders in for delivery, and update the delivery details on SAGE.

Being a Friday, my boss and his partner finish early and head off to Southampton where they stay for the weekend (they have a boat). The SAGE computer software is only installed on my boss's partners computer, which she had turned off before she left so after booking in the orders as requested, I logged onto to her computer, accessed SAGE, and entered the details. Once done, I backed up SAGE (updated the back up files with the amended information added) and turned off the computer.

About 5 minutes later I realised that I had booked on order in for the wrong date, so I contacted the customer, changed the booking and then had to turn the computer back on, update the details, back up the system, and turn off the computer.

10 minutes passed and we received two new orders. I went back to the computer, turned it on, accessed SAGE, put on the new orders, backed up SAGE, and turned off the computer.

Then another new order from a different customer is emailed across. Back to the computer, SAGE, order on, back up, turn computer off.

Just to be different, a few minutes later ANOTHER order from another customer appears. Computer, SAGE, back up, off.

I felt like I couldn't get away from the damn computer and that damned SAGE software.  It was like I was tied to it by a piece of elastic!

I hung around at work until 2:45 and then buggered of home. I was offered a lift, but as the sun was shining, I declined and walked. I stopped off at Co-Op to get some provisions, and when I was in the queue, I noticed the lady behind me had less items than me, so I offered to let her go first (I'm nice like that. Actually, I'm nice in many ways - for all the good it does me.). She took this as a request for a random conversation. Now, whilst I will admit that I often start talking to people randomly when I am out - and by randomly I mean sometimes I do and sometimes I don't, I don't mean that when I talk I say stuff like "radiator, pineapple, bi-plane, fish-light bulb hybrid" - but that doesn't mean I like it when people do it to me. However, being a polite chap I indulged this freak woman.

She was quite short - about 5ft 1, and wasn't the most attractive or effeminate female I've ever met. She had a weird hairstyle which was like shoulder length hair, but with the hair from one side of her head pushed up and over the top of her head. Like I said, the conversation was quite random. All of a sudden she said to me
"I met a bloke who was smaller than I was the other day - that was weird"

Before I knew what was happening, I just blurted out "you sure it wasn't a child?", and was instantly shocked by the rudeness of that statement. Luckily, she wasn't offended but didn't help matters when she replied
"no, it was definitely a man - he made me feel quite butch"

I had to bite my lip to stop myself from saying "what - more butch than usual?".

Thankfully, she got served and went on her way.

So got home and found that either the mice were practicing fen shui on my kitchen appliances, or the handy man had been in to service my boiler. My toaster and kettle were not in their usual places. I assumed it was the boiler man, as I don't have mice. I hope.
However, my happiness that my boiler had been serviced was short lived as I discovered that I had no hot water. My hot water comes on by demand - when I turn on the hot tap of use the shower, not by me shouting out loud "Hot water now!" - and I here the boiler kick in at the appropriate time. But it wasn't happening. I rang the man (Terry) and told him of my problem - not that one, the problem with the boiler. Terry asked me to check if he had left the Gas off in the meter box outside. I did this, and he hadn't. So Terry said that he would come back tonight and sort out whatever he had left off or wrong with my boiler.

So here I am, waiting for Terry the boiler man to come and do his stuff. It's 8pm (almost) and I hope he gets here soon, as I don't fancy a cold shower tonight.

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