As I type this, I am wounded and bleeding.
Actually, that isn't entirely accurate. I was bleeding a couple of hours ago, so now I am wounded and congealing - or 'scabbing over nicely'. Apologies if you are reading this whilst eating, and watch out for crumbs.
To be honest, I was taken a little by surprise by this wound. In saying that, I don't mean that it suddenly appeared out of nowhere - I wasn't walking along and just happened to look down at my arm and exclaim "Hello.....how did you get there?". What I mean is that the cause of this would was quite innocuous, and came via a combination of a sudden reaching of my bladders 'fill' level, my momentum, a lack of cornering, and Upvc.
It happened at work, which is the place I have been known to be seen occasionally. Well, they said they would pay me to turn up, so I suppose it is a bit of a no-brainer. I was putting the last 63 orders out of a batch of 124 on to the system, and at the same time was waiting for a delivery of acetate boxes for a production run that was required. Our offices are flanked by a garage (the car fixing type, not the Del Boy lock up type), a fuel depot, and what I believe is some sort of vehicle workshop. As a result of this (and possibly a build up of ear wax on my part - well, not on my part, in my ears), it is often difficult to distinguish between the sound of a lorry pulling into our yard, and a lorry in one of the neighbouring establishments. Subsequently, I often spend my time running out to the yard to see if it is us or not, and then running back again, because it wasn't.
Today had been a day when I was rushing back and forth to the yard. I suspect that I did this with a little more frequency than usual because the delivery I was waiting for was urgent. We had asked for an AM delivery so we could rush the items straight to our packing house - as it turned out, the delivery didn't arrive until 1:15pm - which I'm pretty sure doesn't qualify as an AM delivery. Anyway, it was the 7th or 8th time I had rushed out to the yard saying to myself "finally, the delivery is - oh, no it's not." when suddenly I became aware that my bladder had reached critical mass and I was now in a 'code yellow' situation. I was running towards the open door too our offices and was turning sharply to my right round the bench which is situated to the left of our office doors (as you walk out), when my right foot snagged the concrete base the bench was sat upon. Still moving forward with very little loss of velocity, I stumbled - and instinctively put my right arm out to prevent me crashing into the door frame. My arm did it's job, but I scraped it across the frame of the door as I hurtled like a falling satellite into the offices. I stayed on my feet, and as I headed for the loo, I looked at my arm which felt sore, but showed no visible injury. It was only when I got home and looked at my arm again that I saw I had broken the skin and a scab was forming. Well, that's another wound to show the grandchildren - providing I can meet a woman, woo her, get her to sleep with me, have children with her, and wait for those children to grow to such an age when old scars are cool and not gross all before the scab heals and falls off leaving no scar.
In spite of the pain I have endured today, I am in a very good mood. It has been a gloriously lovely day today, and I have been paid. On top of this, I finished early today - but still came home and did all my housework, so that I can chill out for the rest of the weekend. And if all that wasn't enough, it would appear that the problems I have been having with my laptop have gone away. All I get now is a weird message about some file not being found every time I start up my laptop - but it can't be that serious.
So.....it's all good. Even the fact that I went to my local shop to buy a 500ml bottle of Doctor Pepper and was charged £1.10 for it, even though it has the price of 99p printed on the bottle label (a special promotional label) hasn't dampened my spirits. Tomorrow there's rugby on in the morning, and then I am going food shopping but will be picking up the ingredients for my first ever slow cooker meal.
Part of me is tempted to nip out to the pub tonight - but I will ignore that part (it does have a build up of ear wax) and will stay in instead and watch my "Sons of Anarchy" DVD and eat some chocolate!
I hope all of you have a good weekend too - whatever you are doing!