Saturday, 27 August 2011

Ninja Reconnaissance Snail.......and The Karma Trail Continues - On Foot

So I was still in a "doing" mood this morning, and got up at 8am and cleaned my windows, tidied my garden, put some washing on and out, and started the houseowork. I always start in the Kitchen, and then do the Bathroom then then rest of the house. With the kitchen sparkling, and fingers burning (here's a tip: blisters and bleach based cleaning agents don't mix), I went into the bathroom to start cleaning in there. I had only squirted some toilet duck down the toilet when I saw something out of the corner of my eye. There was a round dark object at the top of one wall in the middle, right against the ceiling. It was about the size of a two pound coin.

My inital thought was that it might be the early stages of a wasps nest - but then I remembered they tend to be more colourful, as in this picture:

"We love the colour scheme!"
So it wasn't a wasps nest - but what was it? I didn't know, but I knew I had to get rid of it. So, I grabbed a handful of kitchen towel, which as we all know is the tool of choice for removing everything from spiders web to a buffalo - should you find such an thing in your home. I removed the object from the wall, and as I held it I could tell it was hard. With the same feelings of apprehension and curiosity you get when you look into a tissue after blowing your nose, I opened the ball of kitchen towel carefully and looked inside.... I wasn't prepared for what I saw - it wasn't a wasp nest, it was a snail.

You heard me: a snail.

I was shocked and confused; How on earth did that snail get to the top of the wall in my bathroom? and more importantly - how come I never saw it!?
As we all know, snails aren't the fastest of movers and I am fairly sure that in the length of time it would have taken that snail to climb up that wall, I would have walked into my bathroom and seen it.
Unless it happened while I was asleep - but how did he (all snails are male) get into my bathroom in the first place? The one window is shut at night, and I close the door to the bathroom whenever I leave it. The snail couldn't have fitted under the gap at the bottom of the door, because of it's shell.

Maybe this was a new species of snail - the Ninja snail. Obviously, it hitched a ride into the bathroom at some point on the bottom of my jeans, or disguised as a tube of toothpaste, and then waited for me to go to bed before starting his ascent. But what was his aim? Why scale the wall..........unless he was an advance scouting party for an army of Ninja snails who were coming to overrun me. This Ninja reconnaissance snail was obviously checking out the bathroom as a possible point of first assault - well not anymore. Now he's stuck in complete darkness in my bin, that's the invasion thwarted.

Although, I didn't check him for a radio..........

It has been a good day today. I have been very pro-active in the housework and defence of my home front, and I continued to do good deeds. I rang my friends Heather and Peter and asked if I could pop over and see them. Being a polite chap, I bought some "Just because" flowers for Heather - these are my favourite types of flowers to buy for someone because you need absolutely no reason to give them to the intended recipient, and when they ask why, you just say "just because". So I drove over to see those two, and discovered that Peter had had a prang in his car. A young girl had driven into the side of the car and not only dented the door and front wing, but had knackered the steering mechanism.So they were going to be without a car for a while until their car was repaired.

Not if  could help it. I offered them the use of my car - I don't use it to get to work, and won't need to use it for at least three weeks, as I can get shopping etc. in Sturminster Newton, where I live. I arranged to give them the car tomorrow, after I come back from Yeovil. The Larry Lagrue Karma Bus will be temporarily transferred to foot power - but there will be no lack of service.

So that's another good thing I've done, which means at some point, somewhere, something good will happen to me. Actually, it propbably already has - Heather picked some fresh Raspberries from her garden, and gave them to me to take home. They are delicious - and I am going to nip out now and buy some Ice Cream to enjoy them with.

Not too shabby, I think you'll agree?

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