And why am I imprisoned in this furnished oven? Because my inconsiderate neighbours - the owners of the "Cafe Spice" Indian Restaurant (even though they are from Bangladesh) are having a bonfire and the wind direction is sending the often thick, black smoke over my garden and in through any opening. Which is why all my openings are closed.
As well as my windows.
But all is not soaked in sweat. I do have a couple of tools with which to combat the intolerable heat. The first is a few bottles of ice cold beer which are sitting in my fridge at my disposal. Talking of disposal, I have already had one, and have just opened my second. They are definitely helping to take the edge off.
|Original Source Mint Shower Gel|
However, what they don't tell you is - don't use it on delicate parts, because the cooling effect is magnified. I accidentally used some in a 'sensitive' area, and instantly regretted it. it was a real eye opener - if you get my meaning.
And when I say "sensitive area", I don't mean the border between North and South Korea!
It is so hot in my house at the moment that I have been forced to break the coolest pair of trousers I have:
|The Chameleon's Nightmare|
It's what I have to do in this heat to stay cool - drink beer, cool my bits with mint shower gel, and wear clothes that a clown wouldn't be seen dead in.
Mind you - rather that than be too hot.