Saturday, 13 August 2011

The Graves Have Been Changed To Protect The Innocent

I was watching a film tonight, and there was one scene set in a Clifftop Cemetery. This got me thinking about Coastal Erosion, and what would happen to a Cemetery that was in danger of falling into the sea.

Is there a relocation programme for the remains of people in a Cemetery, if that Cemetery is in danger of destruction? We have all heard about Witness Relocation Programmes, where people are taken from one location and moved to another to protect them - so are there other branches of this system?

Of course, I'm not suggesting for one second that in the event of a Cemetery relocation, all the Grave stones have new names chiseled into them - that would make it impossible for relatives to visit their deceased loved ones. Unless the relatives were told what their deceased loved ones "new identity" would be. Or would there simply be a new headstone with the words "You ain't seen me, right?" on it?

There must have been situations where a Cemetery has needed to be moved - but what happens in these situations?. And who runs the C.R.P? (Cemetery Relocation Programme). Is it a shadowy, Black Ops division of the Vatican? Do specially trained funeral directors come in at night via Stealth Helicopters to oversee the relocation of the deceased? Are the remains transported in muffled caskets - each casket carried by a special electric hearse, so that it is ultra quiet as it travels through the street at night?

Mind you, if they did use electric hearses you know the new location the remains were being moved to would not be very far away, due to the poor range of electric vehicles.

As far fetched as it may seem, someone, somewhere has thought through the logistics of what would need to be done in the event of a Cemetery Relocation. And at a moments notice, a specialised team is ready to swing into action to do what is necessary. Imagine Lifeguards - always on alert in case that emergency call comes through. It would be like that - but without the orange boats.

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