Monday, 1 August 2011

A Day Of Two Emotional Halves

For quite some while today, I thought that this would be the worst day I have had in a long time.

Having had a really good, enjoyable and fun weekend I was understandably quite cheerful this morning at work. The sun was shining, it was warm, and the world seem good. And then all of the good feelings I had were wiped out in one fell swoop by a telephone conversation with the lady (not the term I want to use) who manages our packing house. The basic gist of the conversation was that she wanted to take some time off work because in her words "she had no work to do". I contested this appraisal of the current production schedule as she did have work outstanding - but did concede that she was waiting for components from us, which we in turn we were waiting to have delivered. I had details of when this components was due, but the lady (still not the term I would prefer to use) sang "Prince Charming" - she was Adam Ant. Sorry - she was adamant that she was going to have the time off.

Her unhelpful attitude really got under my skin today. We are on a tight delivery schedule with our customer, and will get little or no flexibility if we ask to postpone delivery due to goods not being ready. I am aware that the situation is not ideal - and am aware that the delays we are experiencing with our suppliers are not really the concern of the packing house - but it would be nice if we could all sing from the same hymn sheet and work together to make the best of a bad situation. On several occasions I have had to bite my tongue when spoken to in a less than professional manner, in order to serve the greater good of the company, and have had to pay lip service when I have not necessarily privately agreed with what I am being told. Today, this was a bitter pill to take.

I came off the phone really fed up, and a feeling of frustration and anger hung over me like a depressed cloud. My whole mood was altered, and I started worrying about other things - other non-work things. For example, I preparing some new material for a Stand up routine I am going to do at the end of September. I have already written something, and was going through it in my head. But today, I was worrying that I wasn't funny and therefore began to worry that I would "die" on stage when I did my stand up. I really wasn't feeling good about anything, and was so caught up in this depressed frame of mind that I didn't bother to have my delicious lunch of Potato and Leek Cup-a-Soup with two dry crackerbread.

I know - yum (NOT.)

Luckily, towards the end of the working day I got some focus and vowed to not waste the whole day on negative emotion. I planned to re-start my walking exercise - having let my feet recover from the blisters suffered the last time I walked, and having purchased some proper walking (anti-blister) socks, have a healthy Dinner, do some Sign Language revision, and write my blog.

And I have done all that. My walk was great - I walked faster and burnt more calories than ever before doing this exercise. The Walking socks worked fine, and I felt good for it. Dinner was simple but delicious - Heinz Tomato and Butterbean soup (it's new - you should try it), with some steamed vegetables (Carrot, Runner Beans, and Cauliflower) in a separate bowl. I really enjoyed eating it.
My Sign Language revision was fine - I'm really enjoying it, and am focused on doing my best and seeing where Learning Sign Language will take me. I have a long term goal, a short term goal, and a mid term offside decision. Just a little football joke there.

And writing this blog is like therapy. You are all my therapist, and I get to lie on your couch and vent my spleen at you. I'm not going to worry about my Stand Up material - I will put together what I think works, and will practice and practice and practice in the mirror, so that when I come to perform I will be more confident, and funnier. Comedy is subjective - you can never please everyone, and I've got to accept that and not worry about it.

There was definitely a chance that today could have been a total write off, but I managed to flip it somewhere, and it has turned out okay. I'm just not sure what the positive catalyst was.


I think it was the Cauliflower.

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