Sunday, 22 May 2011

Bedding, Barry, Blackpool

Whatever you do, don't let me forget to put the clean bedding on my bed. I have already removed the old bedding, and indeed have washed it and hung it out to dry. But my bed remains unmade - and I have a terrible tendency to forget about completing the task and then go up to bed and then have to make it. I think I will make my bed while my dinner is cooking. I'm thinking about having either sausages, potatoes and veg or jacket potatoes and beans.

 

The photos above were taken on my walk along the trailway today. As you can see, it was a lovely day. I could have taken many photos like the one on the left above, as there were a lot of "isolated" trees along the walk. I very much like the photo on the right above, as to me the two trees look like islands in a sea of green grass. As for the photo at the bottom- who doesn't like pigs?

My walk was very nice - at least the outward journey was. Halfway through my walk, I bumped into some friends on mine - Alyn and Emma, and their two year old son Dylan. They were all going for a walk along the trailway too, so we decided to walk together. It was a bit like that film "The Wizard of Oz", but without the singing, or homosexual undertones. We walked as far as the Shillingstone Rail Project which, contrary to it's name, is not a Folk - Jazz combo group but a project to renovate a disused rural train station. You can find out more about it athttp://www.shillingstone.addr.com/ .Incidentally, Dylan (being two) did not walk all this way. He was clever enough to bring his ride on tractor (with trailer), and get mummy and/or daddy to pull him along.

Once we had looked at the station project for a while, we turned around and walked back. Alyn, Emma and Dylan walked back as far as their car and I carried on walking along the trailway. Alyn did offer me a lift back, but I foolishly refused. How I regretted that decision.

I set off in good spirits. I wasn't rushing, as it was a lovely day and I was in no hurry to get home. Well, I wasn't in a hurry to get home - but that was before I got the all too familiar call of nature. And this time, it was number two calling. I was in real trouble - I knew that I would never make home in time. Running in this state was out of the question, as I knew I could not sprint and clench at the same time. The feeling was getting worse and worse, and I was getting more and more desperate. Eventually, I had no choice but to get off the trailway and into some dense foliage and answer the call. I was lucky that the trailway was deserted in either direction for as far as I could see - but that didn't stop me rushing just in case.

(READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED - THIS NEXT SEGMENT CONTAINS DESCRIPTIONS SOME OF YOU MAY FIND UNPLEASANT)

I had found a suitable spot down a fairly steep slope and fully surrounded by shrubs and trees. I was below the level of the trailway, so would only be seen if someone happened to look directly down the slope as they passed. There was a chance it could happen, but I had no choice - or time.
As I had no toilet paper with me (which I am now beginning to think I should carry with me at all times, as this sort of thing seems to happen a lot to me recently), I was hoping for a "Clean Barry". For those of you who are unfamiliar with this term - as I was up until my Scotland holiday, thanks Jim - a Clean Barry is basically where you....erm.....evacuate your bowels so efficiently, that there is no need to wipe, or wiping shows no evidence of the evacuation. As I was crouched amongst stinging nettles, wiping was most definitely out. Not wishing to go into detail, all I can say is that a Clean Barry was not achieved. In reality, if there is an opposite to a Clean Barry - that was what I experienced. A "Dirty Simon" if you will. Nonetheless, disaster was averted. I felt - well, relieved - and made good time in getting home. Once I home I showered (extensively) and changed.

I sat down just in time to see the Man Utd vs Blackpool game. In the end Blackpool lost, and have been relegated from the Premier League. I am sad to see them go down, as they were really entertaining to watch, and I think their manager Ian Holloway was a breath of fresh air. I hope they come back up soon.

Right, that is that blog taken care of. Now to sort out dinner, put on the clean bedding, and settle in for the night. I get paid next Friday, and have already made plans to see a few people over the next few weekends.

I hope the rest of your Sunday is good, and I will see you here tomorrow.

Ciao!

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