Sunday, 24 April 2011

Milestone, Garden, Tight Jeans, Slob.

Today my blog has reached it first big milestone - 1000 page views. I'll be the first to admit that a good few of these page views have been my own as I read comments or look to re-design it, but still my little nonsensical blog has proved to be quite a success. In fact, I could go as far as to say that I am on my way to becoming a global sensation because my blog has also been viewed in the United States of America, Singapore, Australia, Denmark, Mexico, the Netherlands, Belarus, Germany and India. Sod it - I will go as far. I'm a global sensation!

I'm actually writing this post early in the day for once. Usually my entries are made in the early evening, so I can use my experiences of the day as inspiration for the mindless rubbish that I put down for you good people to read and enjoy.
Well, read anyway. You might not enjoy it - but that's not my problem. If you choose to continue to read something that you don't like, that is up to you. Similarly, if you choose to smack yourself in the face repeatedly with a rolled up copy of "Hello!" magazine, who am I to stop you?.

Yeah, insult those who read my blog - that should get the page views down! Well, not down obviously - just not up as much as I would have hoped. Or maybe it would........maybe some of you will read this post, and be offended by it. You will mention how offended you are to friends and family who - being outraged at the insult to their loved one - will read this blog to gauge what type of insensitive monster could write such terrible things. As a result, page views increase ten fold, and everybody wins. But mainly me.

If you are reading this for the first time, hello! I'm not a bad guy really - if you read all my other blog entries you will see what a nice (if a little strange) guy I am.

In fact I am such a nice guy, that I am going to have a barbecue at my place before the summer is out. I have a very nice little garden which is perfect for entertaining in. Here is a picture of it:

As you can see, it's a nice little space just big enough for a few friends. And here is a picture of me enjoying my garden:

And here is a picture of me in my garden - sad that I've got no one to share it with:

So, I will be having a barbecue at some stage, and those of you local to me are welcome.Actually, all who know me, wherever you live are welcome.  I don't have enough room to let anyone stay - unless you are female and single. I can find room for as many single females as you can shake a stick at!

I was going to have a Winter barbecue, but my garden looked like this:

That's not me in the picture by the way, that's the pole for my washing line.

(After the line above was typed, Larry remembered he had been invited out to a barbecue - and left the house)


(Seven hours later, Larry returns home)

I've had a great afternoon in the company of friends, and will be going out shortly for a few beers. I have two minor dilemmas: Firstly, I have very little money. I am basically using money that had been originally allocated for groceries, and so will have to watch what I spend in Scotland in order to ensure that I can buy groceries for the rest of the month once I get back from my holiday.
Secondly, I need to find some comfortable jeans. The ones I am currently wearing are really tight because I've been stuffing my face all afternoon.

Seriously, I'm not comfortable.

I'm thinking about going back to boxing training. I only stopped because my back was hurting quite frequently, and I couldn't move properly because of the pain. I stress that I was only doing the boxing training - I have no intention of taking up boxing properly as I have a medical condition which won't allow me. I'm allergic to getting punched in the face. My back has not given me any pain for about three months now, after I visited an Osteopath so I feel (I hope) it has improved sufficiently for me to get back into some sort of exercise.

At this time, it is just a thought. However, I do need to be doing some form of exercise, as I am gradually turning into a fat and lazy slob.

Incidentally, I'm still single :-)

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