Thursday, 14 April 2011

Sun, Touch, Pop, Dirty, Hurrah!, and.......hmmm maybe?

Let me get straight to the point; Do they have sign language for music videos?

We all know that if you turn the TV on late at night, or on a Sunday morning, there's a good chance that you will see a familiar programme being repeated with a small oval in one bottom corner containing a person doing sign language to interpret for the deaf what is being said. Every now and then they pause, and look up at the action on screen - as if they are there, and not in some dingy studio somewhere with a green screen behind them.
But do they do that for music videos? I know that there doesn't appear to be much point, but think of how many great lyrics of songs you know? For example, here's some to get you singing along..........

"We're caught in a trap..........I can't walk out.........."

Put your hands up if you automatically sang "Because I love you too much baby......."

I knew you would!!

So, why shouldn't hearing impaired people (I've gone all politically correct now) be able to know and understand great lyrics like the rest of us? There must be music videos shown for the hard of hearing? maybe not some of the rap ones, with their explicit lyrics - but the rest are alright, surely. And if they are, does the person in the corner of the screen dance along whilst signing? do they get to hear the music? can they hear the music? are the people used to sign for hearing impaired people on TV programmes, hearing impaired themselves???
Surely they can't be - as they need to hear what is being said in order to sign it.

Unless, they have someone signing for know when you stand between two mirrors, and you see infinite reflections of yourself trailing back into the distance, well maybe that is what it is like for the people signing for the hearing impaired. Maybe the person signing on the TV is being signed to, and that person is being signed to by someone else, who in turn is being signed to by another person, and so on, and so on for eternity - you never know.
It could be happening as we speak.

Touch screen technology is all the rage these days. Many of us have mobile phones without keypads, and the I-Phone and I-pad have taken the world by storm - both without a button in sight. So how long before we see this technology in the office? How long before we have a touch screen keyboard built in to the surface of our desk?
Think of the advantages; no more dirty keyboards with bits of food, saliva and pubic hair stuck between the keys. Never again will you turn the keyboard upside down and shake it as part of your annual "spring clean" of your workspace, and watch in fascination as several paperclips, post it notes, and half a cheese roll fall on to your desk. There will be more space on your desk for you to work, rather than you having to pile your paperwork up in one corner, only for it to slowly spread across the entire desk during the course of the day. You will be able to organise your paperwork better which, in turn will increase your efficiency and productivity. This itself will help to increase your company's output, which will increase profits, help the economy, and get the great country back to it's feet!!!
A touch screen keyboard would be easy to clean, space saving, and would make your desk look sleek and professional.
There will be one drawback, however. Instead of pressing Ctrl + Alt + Delete to close any unresponsive programmes, you will have to smack your head firmly on the desk.

Everybody knows what the three second rule is; it is the acceptable amount of time for a piece of food that has fallen to the floor to be picked up, blowed on, and put back on the plate, or in the mouth.
Someone today tried to tell me that there was a ten second rule - but this is clearly wrong on all levels. In ten seconds enough bacteria can penetrate the food in question to make it lethal. In three seconds, only enough bacteria penetrate the food to give it an additional taste that can only be described as "Rustic".
The ten second rule only applies to the time between lighting the fuse and detonation of a cartoon bomb - or is the average completion time for a teenage boys first sexual experience.
Please also be aware that the three second rule only applies to "dry" food - pasta, vegetables, cake, biscuits etc. It does not work for custard, soup, bolognese, trifle, or any other liquid based foods. In these instances, the only thing you can do is cut your losses - forget about whatever has slipped off your plate, out of your bowl, off the serving spoon etc. and just enjoy what you are left with.
This simple rhyme should help you remember: "if it's runny, forget it; if it's solid - go get it!"

Rulers are great for allowing you to draw a straight line, but if you want to drawer a square on a blank piece of paper it's still difficult to get it perfectly square. Even though the ruler might look straight, it could be at a slight angle - which would make drawing a square impossible right away.
So why not have rulers with a spirit level built in? That way, you could tell when the ruler was dead straight and you would know that the line you are drawing was a straight line, no worries.

Just an idea.......

For most of us the weekend of the 9th and 10th April was a glorious weekend in terms of the weather. The sun was shining, and it was lovely and warm. It is quite incredible how a little bit of sunshine can improve everyone's mood. It was very noticeable to me - people were smiling, they were in a good mood and everyone was having a good time. That one or two days of sunshine raised the spirits of the whole country, it's fairly safe to say.
So isn't it ironic that the countries in the Middle East - where they have a lot of sunshine it seems - appear to have the most unrest and trouble? I think they have taken their sunshine for granted, and have forgotten about the simple pleasures in life if they just stopped, and looked up at the sun shining in the blue sky above them, they would feel differently about things.. Perhaps if we took the leaders of Israel and Palestine, and the warring factions in Afghanistan and let them stay in Britain from October to March, the cold climate might make them appreciate more where they live. At the same time, I'm sure a load of British people wouldn't mind spending winter closer to the Equator, topping up their tan on Boxing Day. The Israelis and Palestinians, and the troubled souls of Afghanistan would go home in March, be greeted by the warmth of the sun, and experience the same euphoria we feel here when the first sunny day after winter comes around, and it might very well give them a new appreciation of what they have.

Please make sure you spell my name correctly on my Nobel Peace prize.

Today this blog has reached it's first milestone. Today's post is my 32nd - which means I have been writing my blog for just over one month. Already I can't remember all the topics I covered; I know I have talked a lot of rubbish, and that I have bared my soul quite a bit too. It's been difficult at times, but massively enjoyable throughout. People have read my blog over 700 times since I started, and my audience reaches from Australia to America, and included Singapore, Belarus, and the Netherlands. I am truly grateful for the support I have been shown - but I am greedy for more, so if you like my blog, follow me on it - you can do it via email, just look to the right of this post, and you will see "Follow This Blog by Email". Enter your email address in the box, and click "submit".
And if you really like my blog, tell your friends to read it - and tell them to tell their friends to read it.

Unless their friends are your friends, in which case you can tell them.

One last thing: At work I use the mug I have my coffee in to also have my cup-a-soup in. I rinse it out with hot water, but don't clean it properly.

Does that make me bad?


  1. keep them coming, this mad me laugh, groan and sigh, all within a few minutes,can't be bad!

  2. Another great post Larry but you are wrong- it is definitely the ten second rule!