Saturday, 16 April 2011

Movies, Old Folk, and Not Being Able To Help Myself.....

Some of you may have noticed that my blog has a new appearance. I'm in the process of trying to improve how it looks, in an effort to make it more enjoyable for those that read it. I hasten to add that the current scheme is temporary, as I have discovered that the variety of themes available, and the choices regarding layout etc. seem almost infinite and I will be spending a long time finding and choosing a design that says what I want it to say. I hope you approve of what I am trying to do - I welcome your comments.

 I saw an advert today on TV for the a new animated film - "Rio". Apparently, this film is available to watch in 'eye popping' 3D. Now I don't know about you folks, but if I am going to go to the cinema and pay £7.50 to watch a film, I don't really want my eyes popping. To be honest,  I imagine that it would spoil my enjoyment of the film somewhat. Plus when you consider how much it costs to go and see a film, you will understand that I would already be less happy than I would like, and the popping of my eyes would only increase my anger and resentment.
Of course I know that my eyes wouldn't actually pop - it's just a gimmick to get people to go and see the film - but it's the increasingly extravagant choice of words they use to promote films that gets me. My other "favourite" phrase used to sell films is 'a roller coaster ride'. I hate roller coasters; when I see a film advertised as a roller coaster ride, I imagine that I'll have to queue for hours to get in to see it, then sit through the whole thing with my eyes shut tight, and finally end up either being sick, or pooing myself. Or both.
Film promoters should treat us like adults and just be honest with us. I'd like to see Films advertised with these sort of tag lines:

'It's a rom-com; She'll love it, you'll hate it - but for a first date it's a winner'.
'Cars, Girls, Explosions - no plot'
'Just when you thought they couldn't squeeze another sequel out of this tired idea....'
'Cameron Diaz, Tom Cruise. Everybody wins'

We all know that as we get older, our ears and noses keep growing. Or, our heads gradually shrink. Either way, old people have got MASSIVE ears. If you have never realised this, check out your gran and grandad, or the next old person you see. You'll be able to tell from a distance - so don't got running up to the elderly shouting "show me your ears!", as they will be likely to have a heart attack, and you'll get arrested.
Incidentally, it is ironic that in spite of the fact that they have ears only dwarfed by Elephants ears, old people suffer with poor hearing. You would think that the larger the ears got, the better they would hear, but oh no. The size of an elderly persons ears is purely for show - and for keeping them cool in the summer (they flap them in the same way that Elephants do). They do also play a part in settling the hierarchy in retirement homes, as the owners of the largest ears becomes the Alpha Male and Female, and as such get first dibs at the meals, and get to choose what is watched on TV.

It's true!

It's been a good day today right from the word go, and this morning I was walking through town in a great mood. I was opening doors for people, holding back to let people pass on a narrow bit of pavement, and was saying  "morning" to everyone I passed. So of course, I couldn't resist could I?
I was walking along the pavement saying "morning" to a couple of people, as I had been since I left the house and a few shops along in front of me, the shop keeper was pulling out the canopy  that hangs over her shop window. So as I walked past her, (this is so childish) I said "Awning!" - to which she replied "good morning!"
I walked on, laughing to myself. I only wish I had seen someone else with their hand over their mouth, and another person exchanging an item for cash at a Pawnbrokers - that way I could have said "Yawning!" and "Pawning!"

You know what they say, it's the little things in life that count.

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