Saturday, 9 April 2011

A Grand Day Out

I'm typing this on my blog app on my phone as I'm sat on the train into London. I will be adding bits to this post from time to time as things of interest happen.
I hope something of note happens - or this is going to be one very boring post!

Please note from now on, the tone of this post will be in the past tense, as it is being edited after the event.

Luckily, something of note did happen - I saw a wonderfully tall woman on the train to London. She was as tall as I am (6ft 6), but she was considerably better looking. She was very attractive, and brightened up an already bright day.

I arrived at Waterloo station, and after a brief discussion with a ticket machine about the cost of travelling across London, I am ready to venture into the depths of the London Underground......
......One very short trip later, I find myself at the aptly named Green Park. The sun was shining, and folk were out in force in it:. Walking through the bustling streets around Piccadilly, I saw many incredible sights; the first was hundreds of cyclists in period clothing riding vintage bicycles! It must have been part of some charity thing, or maybe linked to a museum. I even saw a guy on a reverse Penny Farthing - huge wheel at the back, and a tiny wheel at the front!. They were doing laps of a few streets, and was a fabulous thing to see.

What wasn't so fabulous to see was the guy dressed head to toe in black latex, with a latex dog collar on. Apart from the fact that he must have been roasting in that outfit in the heat of today, he looked like the only gay in the village. He was getting plenty of looks I can tell you - but not as many as the guy walking a little way behind him who was wearing a blue Lycra body suit that covered his entire body - legs, arms, torso, and head. There were no eye holes, or nose hole, or mouth hole - he was completely covered. I can honestly say that I have never seen anything like it.

Anyway, I took a trip down Piccadilly way, and popped into the world famous Fortnum and Mason store. it is a magnificent building, with magnificent pricing to boot. You would need a second mortgage just to do your weekly shop. Time was ticking by however, so me and my friends decided to find a bookies to place a bet on the National, and then grab a beer. The bookies was found no problem, but we then spent 10 minutes battling the hordes in the search for beer. Eventually we found beer. Unfortunately, we found it in a gay bar. The lack of females should have alerted us to the fact, along with the sign above a door on the building opposite which read "queens stage exit". I'm fairly certain me and my mates were the only "straight" people in there - at least until a young man and his girlfriend walked in. it was very funny to watch them get a drink, sit down, and then see the realisation kick in. It was so easy to lip read the girl says "I can't believe we're in a gay bar", although the bloke standing behind her boyfriend blatantly staring at his bum, should have given her a clue!! Anyway, one very quickly drunk pint later, we made our excuses and left, and found a less "colourful" bar in which to enjoy a relaxing pint and scream at the TV while the National was on.


Well, I won £2.50. One of my three horses finished third. Not bad, enough for two thirds of a pint!
I then had my unpleasant pub experience number two: stepping in a puddle of urine that was a good six foot away from the nearest urinal. How it got there, I did not want to contemplate............nice :(

We spent the next few hours in the pub, having a right laugh - playing the quiz machine, taking the mickey out of each other, and people watching.. I was amazed at the mass of humanity that was busy going on it's way along the street outside. I don't know whether it is the fact that I now live in a rural part of the country, but the sheer volume of people took my breath away initially.

Eventually, it was time to head home. while waiting for the train, I reflected on my day...I had definitely had an amazing day, full of laughs and fun.
By this time, I was slightly under the affluence of incahol....several pints had been consumed by yours truly, and I'm not ashamed one bit.
I truly  had a grand day out - it was the perfect way to spend my last day as a 39 year old. My heartfelt thanks to my friends, that tall bird I saw on the train - and the stunning blonde I saw on the train journey back!!! - , the gays in the gay bar, the sunshine, the vintage cyclists, and all of the above.

As I finish editing this post, it has just gone Midnight. I am now officially 40 years old - but I don't feel it in my mind, or in my soul.

Life for me, starts now - bring it on!!

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